I used to watch Super Soul Sunday and Oprah would always close her interview with someone by asking them “What do you know for sure?” I always loved hearing what people would come up with. Some profound, some silly, but always intriguing. I wrote a blog post almost eight years ago about the things I knew for sure at the time. I wanted to re-visit that concept but this time write to my children life lessons of things I know for sure.
Things I know for sure…what I want my kids to know:
Your hearts can have great capacity to forgive and love but it doesn’t mean you compromise or stifle who God made you to be to do so. Forgive and release but stay in alignment with the Holy Spirit and who God made you to be. Forgiveness doesn’t mean losing yourself it means freeing yourself.
Sometimes I learn more from you about love, joy, perseverance, and resilience than the adults in my life. Wisdom doesn’t always come with age it comes with having a heart that is paying attention.
People deserve second chances but pray about who you give them to and what that looks like.
They say actions speak louder than words, but your words have power too. Don’t be afraid to use them for good and find your voice.
Sometimes people can have love for you but aren’t strong enough or complete enough to love you like they should. Their capacity and bandwidth to love you doesn’t equate to your worth. Only God is ever going to love you with that sustainability and strength without fail. You deserve the love of others too, but your heart and theirs should both be hidden in Jesus first.
You can embrace and take people as they are but it doesn’t mean they get to do your life with you in an intimate way. Protect your sphere of influence and who you surround yourself with. They have an impact so what are you letting in?
Being understood doesn’t always mean or equate to you or your path being right, in fact sometimes when you are misunderstood you are more on the right track. Don’t be afraid to be the fish swimming upstream!
Don’t be afraid to own and share your story, but discern who deserves to hear it.
A good country song that speaks to your moment and feels is a feeling to soak in!
Time can change and heal but you have to be intentional with your time.
Hard work creates backbone and grit. Anything worth having you will have to work to get and work to keep.
You will be better because of the hard stuff not just in spite of it.
Dancing can always lift my spirits and make me smile…don’t be afraid to do it no matter how good you think you are or aren’t. Embrace joy!
Others need to see you living out your life perfectly imperfect with authenticity much more than they need to see you perfectly fixing and operating in things.
For my son, being vulnerable and tender hearted is brave, for my daughter being fiery, passionate and spunky is your fire. Don’t lose those things no matter what the world or people tell you. God made you for such a time as this and just the way you are.
Everyone is wrestling, navigating and trying to write their story. When you truly live out yours fearlessly and authentically, you give others permission to do the same.
Know who you are in Christ and stand confidently in that, but be humble in where your strength comes from and know that truth deeply.
Don’t ever let pride stand in the way of connecting with someone. Choose connection. You will not regret showing heart to someone but you might regret holding back.
Choose integrity over comfort. Lean into being uncomfortable.
Pay attention to your gut. But listen to God’s truths.
Your expectations can taint and stifle, but standards guide and hold up.
Compromise and sacrifice but discern if you are doing it for the right things and people who will value it. If it compromises who God says you are, stifles your faith and light, it will never be the right compromise.
Time, space, margin, and quiet are necessary to uncover truths and definitely necessary for the most important ones.
Solid well developed faith and self-awareness are two of the most important gifts you can give yourself and those around you.
Many see being idealistic as a naïve thing. I see it as strong because no matter the pain, heartbreak, yuck, darkness that you may see or have to go through; to not let it change your heart takes strength. Let those things teach you and give you depth but never let it change how your heart beats. Let pain make your love bigger.
Family is who you choose, who chooses you, and shows up in it all with love and abounding grace.
“You were made for such a time as this” –Ecc. 2:3
We are risers
Have grit with all of the above.
Love,
Mom
